I'm sure you can relate. We all have been through difficult unpleasant times that test and expose us of what we are made out of. Truly, no human being is exempt from difficulties. They are part of life. The very first breath we take into this world, we face difficulties; we have to learn to deal with this world on our own. But what about when it gets really tough. I'm talking really, really tough. What about when our prayers to God become specific about issues we cannot fix on our own. In the past we may have prayed with general prayers but not anymore. We need specific help with what's in front of us. What about when we hit a big fat wall with our abilities and see the impossible stamp in front of us. We are hopeless and cannot rely on anyone. Our efforts are fruitless. What about when we have to accept things for what they are, having no control of the situation. We have to learn to live with it, or so it appears. What about when we are dealing with multiple difficulties at the same time. We have to change our lifestyle. We have to make sacrifices. We have to make difficult unpleasant decisions.
That is crisis we are dealing with. We have many issues happening at once that we cannot address on our own. We have reached the human limits. No doctors can help us with what we have. No authority can change things for us. No wisdom can solve our problems. We are at the mercy of life. The easy life we had got detoured. Unless we are deeply rooted spiritually with God at the center of our life, these crisis can send us deep into depression and scar us permanently. Depending on how we react, these difficulties can either soften our hearts or harden them like rock.
How we deal with the crisis is very important. It will determine how we will turn out to be. If we resort to alcohol and drugs, aggression and other temporary unrealistic and unhealthy ways to cope with all the stress around us, we will not change and learn to deal with these problems in the future. In fact, we will cause more harm. We will be in a perpetual crisis because we are not changing, or learning to cope with changes. That is why we will be bombarded with the same crisis over and over again, until we understand why things are happening to us. There is a lesson in each of our crisis for us and we need to learn from them. We need to decipher each difficulty and find the hidden message that is there specifically for us.
Crisis may include being diagnosed with a serious untreatable health condition that may be only manageable, having to deal with lots of pain daily. It can be dealing with the aftermath of a natural disaster, witnessing in front of us, our life savings disappear and memories vanish forever. Being personally affected by a human tragedy such as a loss of a loved one whom we grew up with. Or dealing with other crisis that send shockwaves through our psyche, sending us into an unfamiliar and worrisome territory.
I'm sure each one of us in the midst of a similar crisis will be overwhelmed with fear, sorrow or grief. We will not know how to deal with these situations. We haven't experienced something similar in the past. We are not prepared to deal with what is in front of us. We will be confused and not know what to do. We will be uncertain of our future. We will be hopeless and full of fear. Stress will be rampant. Our physical and emotional well being will be out of control. Nobody may be able to help us. In fact, nobody may understand us. We may be stigmatized by other people for things out of our control. Regardless of everything that is happening around us, we need to never lose sense of ourselves, of who we are and what we stand for. In these difficult times, we need to put our energy in God and not the crisis. We need to remind ourselves how big our God is, not how big our crisis is.
The crisis we are in may or may not be very big but to someone who is living the moment and is oblivious of God, this can appear like the greatest Earthquake to have ever happened. To someone who has no sense of identity and purpose this crisis can appear like the end of life. Having to change our life drastically is not easy by any means. Being unable to do the things we were once able to is a prison sentence. Feeling small and hopeless may be a new feeling. We are not used to being overpowered by things. All this difficulty can make us bitter, hate life altogether, lead to depression, suicide, and worst of all, taking the anger on other people. We need to exercise patience and realize that we are in a crisis season. When the rain has soften the ground, the new season will begin with sunshine, growth, opportunity, and peace. Joy is just around the corner, for no season is permanent.
I know promises, optimism, and hope may not mean much to you now, but I promise you nothing lasts forever in this world. All good and bad things will end. It's perfectly normal to be overwhelmed with difficulties and feel hopeless and Small. Being human is being at the mercy of our bodies, mother nature, and our efforts whom God controls all. We truly don't realize how much control we don't have. We may think we can change our future and control our circumstances. We may feel like we hold the keys to our destiny, but it's truly far from that. We can only control our efforts, motives, dreams, and desires. We are in control only of small things. God is in charge of it all. What God has destined will happen. We cannot change destiny. Its already been written. Your sustenance, your life span, your intelligence, your place of birth, and your parents, you had no control over any of that. Similarly, many of the things that happen to us we have no control. What we control is our emotions, our patience and our actions.
That is not to say that our choices don't have negative consequences. What we do and how we live will affect us. Each choice will have an effect in our lives; both positive and negative. But my point is, we cannot change destiny based on our actions. We cannot change the outcome of our affairs because that is linked to destiny. We can only change or influence the way things happen, but what God has willed will prevail. Understanding God's will, our abilities and purpose in life is crucial in dealing with any of life's crisis. It allows us to align our efforts with God's will and become more accepting of things happening to and around us.
In the midst of any of your crisis, whatever you’re afraid of, whatever your mind is thinking, maybe it’s anxiety attacks. Maybe you fear your marriage will never get better. Maybe it’s a fear about what’s happening with one of your kids. Maybe you have a deadly disease such as cancer and are uncertain of your future. Maybe you fear your own death is near and you have people that depend on you. Who will take of them? I don’t know what it is but wherever your crisis is, wherever the darkness of your valley is, here’s the promise: God's presence will never leave you. He will be there helping you with each step. He will never forsake you. Learn to let go of control and let God steer the ship of life for you. He won't let you down.
Know that God will allow crisis to visit us for our own good. There are a lot of blessings in disguise and God often uses crisis to shape and bless us. To prepare us for what's yet to come. He knows what's best and when, and He is in control of it all. What God allows to happen nobody can stop it from visiting us. In the other hand, what God stops from reaching us, nobody can bring it forth. Trust that your lord is in charge directing your affairs for your best benefit. Honor and respect Him in the midst of crisis. Don't lose hope. Don't become bitter. Lean not on your understanding and Trust God that He knows best and has your best interest.
Even knowing that God is in charge will not take away our fear. We can struggle, that's human. But we shouldn't be paralyzed by fear because God will protect us. God will guide us. He will give us strength with each crisis we face. He will never give us more than we can handle as it is specifically stated in the Qur'an: “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…(Qur’an 2:286)."
Knowing that God is with us and for us, we can pray for help with certainty that He will answer us in the best possible way. We can attain peace with any crisis through prayer. But we must be patient with God. His ways are not our ways. We need to be prepared for all answers. We may pray hard for God to take away many of our afflictions and hear nothing but silence. We may feel abandoned or rejected for being flat out ignored by God. We may repeat our prayers with the deepest faith we can muster only to hear a Big NO again. But don't despair. God is in charge of everything. His No's are often his answers for us. He has allowed this adversity to come our way. If He has allowed it, He knows we can handle it, and He will bring forth much good.
Often times, we are put through hard times to be tested and see how we cope with each difficulty. To learn about ourselves, our weaknesses and strengths, our attitude in life, our morals, our patience, our hope, and our trust in God. God reminds us of the testing we will undergo. “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…(Qur’an: 2:155)" We are put through tests to be molded and learn from them. To have our efforts tested and to be taught by our efforts. To increase our trust in God. To see if we will turn towards the Straight Path, or away from it. Do we become bitter or better. We need this crisis in our life because of God's plan for our life. He has a plan and a program for us.
Every bit of pain we endure, both emotional and physical, alleviates us from our punishments in the hereafter. Its the ways of God to reward and forgive us. Everything that happens has a purpose and God will always use difficulties for our own Good. As it narrated by Aisha (the wife of the Prophet Muhammad): Allah's Apostle said, "No calamity befalls a Muslim but that God expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn."
Remember, crisis is part of life. Each one of us must go through our own difficulties to grow and develop as God's people. To endure pain and suffering is normal for we were not created in Heaven but planet Earth where perfection does not exist. Earth is not a place where we get everything and live happily ever after. No! God created us so He may test us which one of us is best in deeds. (Qur'an 67:2). And He will reward us in Heaven, the place of perfection with eternal bliss. Thats where our hopes should be, not this vanishing world.
Keeping pushing forward and know that each step is closer to victory. Do your best on your own and pray to God for help. The impossible will happen because we have an all powerful God who can do all things. No problem is too big for God. If it's in His plan for your life, at the right time, God will move mountains to bless you with what's destined for you.
-F.D
-F.D