Your feelings are valid. How you feel may be the result of your circumstances. But feelings do not necessarily mean you are away from God. Feelings are just a by product of life. Just because misfortunes and hardships happen to us does not mean we are not close to God. Everyone faces hardships. Everyone has to go through seasons of difficulties so they can properly grow and develop into the individuals God destined them to be. Nobody is immune from problems and difficulties. Just because unpleasant things happen to us does not mean we are not Close to God. In fact, if we are close to God only when things are easy and pleasant, then we are truly not close to God. We are only close to living a comfortable and pleasant life. We are close to pleasure.
If you want to know whether you are close to God or not, look within, inside you. There are the answers you need. There lie your souls greatest secrets, dreams and desires. Look within and find out what makes your soul tick. Where does it get life from. What makes it go on when going on becomes difficult. What does it long for when it has everything. These are clues that tell you what you are truly made out of, and these tell you if God is close to you.
Being close to God means having virtues in all that we do and living Gods will. It is accepting all things that God has destined for us; the good and the bad. A believer will not lose sight of God when a slight misfortune happens to them, nor will they lose sight of God when many blessings visit them. In fact, believers tend to become more religious when misfortunes visit them. They understand that misfortunes are part of life, and they will often seeks Gods help in finding solutions. This difficult time allows believers to get closer to God.
The fact that you are wondering if you are close to God means you are seeking to be close to God. Your heart is feeling a void that other things cannot fill. You wouldn't be asking this question if you were certain that you were close to God and you felt His love and presence inside you. You are feeling distant because you miss Gods presence in your life that you may of once had. In the past, your actions may have been orchestrated by God as your guide, now you may be living to only indulge in your desires. Therefore God has become secondary to everything.
Only God can fill the void in your heart that you have. Only God can bring the warmth of His presence in your life. Only God can beautify your life with contentment. Therefore, Seek God for who He is and not for what He will do for you, and He will do everything for you? He will bring peace and harmony into your life. He will bless you with love and life. Nothing will be comparable to Gods presence into your life.
Know that how you feel about God does not decide your closeness to God however, how you act does. If you want to be close to God, then reflect on the following statements, see how you fit the various scenarios, and strive to change for better.
> Look inside your heart. Does Gods remembrance and presence alone make you happy without getting anything else.
> Are your morals shaping up to be God-like. Do you only want the rewards from God, or do you want to obey God in His commandments.
> Do you serve Him and worship Him for who He is, or is He a friend you only seek when you need help and want your wishes to be fulfilled.
> Does His will bring peace in your life even when it gets tough? Let's be honest. Sometimes the best things are not good for us, and the worst things are the best things for us. In our limited knowledge, we only see the surface but deep inside may lie the worst outcome. How does Gods will make you feel? Do you resent Him when you don't get it your way.
> Do your decisions follow Gods perfect guidance. We all can attend a mosque, a church, a synagogue, or a temple, but how does Gods knowledge shape us in decision making. Do we only follow our desires or Gods guidance because sometimes we have to go against our desires and wishes.
> Do you spend time alone with God in prayer and worship. All of us can worship and thank God when He does great things for us. That easy. That makes us human beings. But a believer who loves God loves to be alone with God in prayer and worship. In fact, they dedicate time specifically to thank God and seek His guidance daily.
> Does your mouth utter the words thank you to God often or only when life is easy and rewarding. A relationship has to be two way and it involves a compromise. Sometimes you may not get your way but that does not mean you become oblivious of your partner. Similarly, a believer will thank God everyday because there are always reasons to thank Him. Even if reason was not there which is impossible, the obvious reason, He is your creator. You need no more reasons.
> Do you accept Gods will with understanding and peace? Lets be honest. Gods will is often different from ours. Often times, His will may seem like it's the worst things that can happen to us. Do you march forward with full trust that God is leading the way or do you hold back doubtful of the fruits of the path He has chosen for you?
> Do you talk to God with a level of comfort, trust, and closeness? Think of God like your best friend. The deeper the friendship is, the closer your feel to them. You may feel comfortable and can share anything with them. You trust them. You can share your deepest secrets with them that nobody else knows. If you don't feel close to God than you don't know Him well enough. You are not comfortable having a conversation with Him.
> Finally, do you trust God? You cannot have a relationship without trust. If you want to be close to God, you must believe that God is trustworthy and your biggest supporter. Trust God with all that you need. Surrender your life to God and let His will be done. Trust Him with your life and He will make your life wonderful. Remember that God has his own reasons, for His timeline. In due time, He will come through. He will never let you down.
Make more time for God. Make Him your priority. You may have to say "no" to some people that don't want to hear "no," and you may have to cut off some things that really aren't bearing fruit in your life anymore. The sooner you do that the sooner God will begin to shape your life positively. And remember... You are as close to God as you choose to be!
-F.D