From the past into the future. Moving on...

What does a heart-break feel like? The answer depends on who you ask. Those who have never experienced a heart break, or a loss, can only read about it. They can only understand it logically. They will never know what a true loss is until they experienced it themselves. However, a heart-broken person knows the feeling of a broken heart. They know the hurt and pain that it takes to go through with it. They have experienced pain that cannot be described by words, but only by tears and a long grieving process.

To a grieving person who has lost something very dear to them, the world has ended temporary. They can only think about their loss. They may go through many episodes of anger, depression, jealously, hopelessness, and loneliness. They may feel guilty and unloved. They may feel worthless and unfavored. The first thing they try to do is rationalize their loss. They may come up with reasons of why God has punished them. This phase is unlike any other. They are lost and confused. They are just reacting to something unfamiliar and very painful. They are hurt.

A heart broken person will tell you that everything gets better with time. I'm sure you have heard the saying, "time heals all wounds," and its true. A broken heart will become a stronger heart until the grieving season is over and the coping season begins. But time doesn’t completely heal all wounds. The grief of loved one who has passed away diminishes over time, but it’s like a chronic condition that you learn to live with it. At any time, episodes of frustration, anger, and loneliness can flare up, but the shock factor will not be there and you will coast through it in a very short time.

Don't expect the loss and pain to be forgotten. Don't give grief a timeline. In a week, month, year, or a decade, you may still hurt. You may still miss them. There is no timeline that says you should be "over it" in x many days. Just be positive and optimistic that once the initial shock factor wears off, you will be you, once again. You will find joy and happiness in absence of your loved ones who are no longer here for you. They will be in another world waiting for you. They will be watching from above protecting and guiding you. Don't you worry. A reunion will take place in another world where God has made the permanent destination for everyone, including you. Until then, learn to live the life you have been gifted with. Your mission is not complete yet. Focus on that first, for the destination is certain for each and every one of us. But we are not ready to be there yet.

Its ok to cry over our loss. Its perfectly normal to miss our loved ones who are no longer with us. Its necessary to be human beings and experience emotions that flood us. But we must be careful in not hurting the ones that are with us by neglecting them or projecting anger and frustration towards them. Its not their fault, nor should they be in our shoes to experience what we experience. Before you, they went through a loss themselves, and you may be unaware of their hurt, yet they loved you unconditionally and never blamed you.

Know that friends and family members will be there for us. They will be there to console us. They may not know what to say, or they may say the wrong thing. Just know that their intention is to help us. They don't have to experience what we are experiencing. They will not miss them like we will. But they are a human beings and friends offering their love and support for us. They know that life is a process of ups and downs. They have experienced pain and loss before us. They know that loss has entered our phase. They are here for us trying to help us cope with the season of loss into the season of happiness, which will surely come. We must be thankful to them, and fair by grieving together. We must allow them to help us leave behind hurt and sorrow. 

In the midst of the pain and loneliness that you feel, remember God. Pray often for strength and understanding. Let God take away the pain and hurt that you feel. He created you. He knows what you are made out of. He created you for something bigger than the moment you are feeling. God knows the pain that you are going through and the bitterness that you feel towards life. He will give you the strength that you need to cope this difficult time. Be patient.

While you may be going through a painful season, remember to take care of you. You are still alive with a mission to fulfill. Your health and well being is important. You have a future that awaits for you. You must be healthy and of sound mind. You have a mission that only you can fulfill. Don't forget your purpose. Don't forget why you exist. This life is not the place to enjoy eternal blessings and happiness. This life  is not the place where we are meant to be forever. This life is transitory into the next life where our loved ones went. We must pray for our loved ones. We must ask God to be merciful and forgiving for their shortfalls. At the same time, we must be cognizant of the destination that awaits us. We must prepare for it with deeds of kindness and love.

I know you are hurting. I know it takes time for this pain to go away. But don't despair. The season of joy and happiness is right around the corner waiting for you. I promise you it gets better. God has promised mankind that, after hardship comes ease. Indeed your season of ease has already arrived. You are just learning to recognize it.

-F.D